Put Down the Phone

I was thinking today about the social impact of our culinary, dietary, and, really, our eating habits in general.  Now, I'm not going to use this forum to preach about healthy eating or offer my critique of various dietary preferences.  Instead, the thought was really more about how we eat and its impact/reflection on our society as a whole.

I think that our practices while we eat is very much a chicken and an egg scenario - I think that our rituals are not only a reflection of our societal customs, but also an influence on those very social interactions.  For instance (and obviously there may very well be external factors at play!), one of the organizations for whom I've worked insists on eating "family style".  At this camp in particular, breakfast is at 8, lunch at 12:30, and dinner at 5.  If you're late, you've chores to do - sweeping, restocking firewood, returning dishes to the kitchen, etc.  Here it's a matter of respect: respect for those who cooked your food, respect for others' time as they wait for you, respect for the customs and traditions of the organization.  Participants are more than welcomed beforehand to help set the tables, laying out uniform place settings with a plate; fork on the left; knife and spoon on the right, knife on the inside, blade facing in; cup above to the left; and napkin under the knife and spoon.  Every setting, every time.

This alone I think is noteworthy, as former Secretary of State Colin Powell asserts in a TED Talk that kids need structure.  And really I think we all do, young and old. I think taking that pride in what we do transfers into other aspects of life.  It is also at this location, by the way, that participants of multi-day programs are expected to help clean up.  Simple things that make a big difference: sweeping, vacuuming, wiping down the coffee and hot chocolate station, doing a walk through for garbage...little things that really add up.  Again, I think this adds to the overall culture of this camp that all people (staff is right there with them!) should be accountable for the place they're in.

An illustrative interjection: In working with one group (around 12 middle school students in my group with around 50 others in different small groups), staff noticed that even by the middle of their second day, the place was becoming a mess.  Garbage cans over-flowing, the woods tracked across the floor...  I had reached a comfortable stopping point for the time being, around 20 minutes before we had to be in for lunch, when this crossed my mind.  I rallied my group: "C'mon ya'll, we'll all pitch in and have this place tidied up in less than 15 minutes."  It took us 10; a simple run through to neaten the place up.  As we stopped to admire our work, the other groups suddenly burst through the doors like the Tasmanian Devil from the Looney Tunes cartoon, leaving trash, spilled liquids, and the better part of the surrounding forest in their wake.  To this day, the reaction of my group is the greatest teachable moment I've had facilitating.  The frustration at the lack of appreciation and the disappointment that it was made messy again, more quickly than it was cleaned, I think left a lasting impression.

But back to food.  I think in group settings, we lose focus of how important it really is for people gathered together for meals.  On goes the TV.  Out come the phones.  I honestly think the best way to recognize this is to sit with another person and struggle to make conversation while they sit on their phone.  Think about it, what do you do when you're sitting intently and your fellow is texting back and forth?  I believe this disconnect is not only a reflection of our increasingly distant society, but also a continuing affirmation that it's okay.  It almost seems that we're becoming more and more connected to other people but increasingly disconnected from those around us.

Please, stop checking Facebook during meals.  Please, stop texting someone while sitting across from friends, family, and coworkers who are trying to socialize.  One of the first things I tell new facilitators is to invest in a watch.  True, your cellphone has the time, but if you're working really hard at something, if you're invested in the learning process, what would you think if your teacher is busy looking at their phone?  Sure, it may only be to check the time, but how could I have known that?

So how much time do you take around meals?  Invest your time with other people, and I believe you'll gain more from a 20 minute face-to-face conversation than an eternity making Wall-E come true...

My Favorite Reality Show

It's that time again!  Every four years, my favorite reality show makes it's way around once again.  I'll admit, it is more of a guilty pleasure as there far-and-away characters, resembling in no way a normal life, argue and bicker back and forth.  I do believe that those are the best shows: those with "regular people"...just the best. I mean, you listen to the talk and just can't help but wonder who they think they're resonating with.  And isn't that perhaps one of the best things about reality TV?  We get to watch these people, these regular joes, televise their exploits, and the irony is that they somehow maintain the idea that they are just like everyone else, while those of us back here on earth watch and shake our heads.  With the exception of those that actually believe some of the things these characters are saying (there's always a few), the rest of us rush home from work, hastily drop our bags and coats, and hunker down in front of the TV to tune in, trying to not miss a single beat.

In the last episode, they characters traveled to Florida to hash out some differences, and what an episode that made for!  Such things as "facts" or "real numbers" somehow don't actually apply.  The back-and-forth "It's true" "No it's not" "It absolutely is", paired with subtle as well as not-so-tongue-in-cheek digs and insults hurled back and forth...  It's like children, going back and forth as the host of the show sits impotently by, like a downtrodden parent who's lost control of their kids.

I mean really.  Where do these people come from?  Where do they get their "facts"? With whom do they believe they're resonating?  And the best part is, I was watching reruns of episodes from 30 some-odd years ago, and their arguments were about the same things!  It's like 'Survivor': every week, every season, we tune in to see who's the backstabber, who's allying with whom, and who's getting voted off.  Every season is like a mild repeat of the very same issues that previously surfaced last season.  All that seems to change (and the same holds true for American Idol, Jersey Shore, and, admittedly, those are the only ones I can name...) is the faces of the competitors.  The only difference is that none of us can possibly imagine watching Jersey Shore intermittently for 30 years.  At some point, people should grow out of it.

One-time contestants, back in 1980, had a great episode wherein contestants went back and forth over jobs, unemployment, military spending, taxes...nice to see how far we've come, eh?  And in this day and age, the audience seems to be more polarized by the mantle their contestants has donned over what they're saying.  There is a "right" and a "wrong", a difference that appears to based more on truth than "fact". Alliances are a sure-fire way to lose ground.  "Compromise" is the latest four-letter word.  Everyone is against outsourcing and off-shoring, and no one (yet everyone) has contributed to both.  Both sides are cutting our access to healthcare, Medicaid, and Medicare, yet both sides are actively protecting them.  Neither side (yet both sides) are raising taxes.  Everyone is somehow both for and against women.  Everyone is both for and against job creation.  See where I'm going with this?

Welcome to the future.  Welcome to numbers and figures that only exist if we want them to.  Where data and facts are hotly debated and even open to interpretation.  There is no such thing as a number anymore.  Here's a list...choose your favorite and laud it as FACT.  Everyone else is WRONG.

Oh, and don't forget to vote today.  I hear it's the most important election of our lives.  But don't worry.  In four years, it will be the most important election once again.

Hiding Online

What is it about social networking sites that provides people an illusion of anonymity?  I can see how that may come into effect on message boards, where an individuals name and personal information is secured behind a screen name and avatar, but places like Facebook, Twitter, and others are created specifically to display a portrait of a person - who they are, who they know, even where they're from and currently live.  In this aspect, it's not so much a "message board" that shows up on your feed, but an extended conversation consisting of people spouting whatever comes to mind - the inane, the insightful, and everything in between - wherever and whenever they feel so inclined.  However, shouldn't this raise a red flag disclaimer before posting?  Not an official or actual, but a personal aside to think before we speak?  Isn't that something we're told when we're young, to think about what we say and who we say it to?

Now, I'm not a heavy advocate for any kind of censorship, personal or otherwise, for fear of offending someone.  An opinion is a great thing, and I encourage people to find their own truth and things to believe in.  However, in what way does it become alright to spout these opinions to the wide world?  Scrolling through my feed this morning, I wondered how adamant some of these people would be if they were expected to make such wide, sweeping, declarative statements in a tavern somewhere.  Is this something they would exult in mixed company?  With friends?  With family?  With strangers?  Sure, there will undoubtedly be those who agree, but surely several that don't.  Would someone be impertinent enough to sit and argue?  To what end?  I have never encountered a situation in which a person has been swayed by a clashing lecture with someone of a differing opinion.  Namely on politics and religion.  And yet we use our social media for exactly this forum.

Again, I'm not saying that people shouldn't make their beliefs known, or that somehow aren't entitled to them, but what are we tyring to prove by pushing these opinions on other people?  What is the hoped for end result of throwing our beliefs in the faces of others?  Wouldn't we be much better served to begin a dialogue, an opportunity to listen and learn?  Sure, we may disagree with what someone is saying, but isn't it entirely possible to still (in this very partisan day and age) have a clear, level-headed conversation?

The way I see it, anger, resentment, and  sheer bullheadedness - taking the place of level-headed and logical, albeit impassioned defenses for our beliefs - are a facade, behind which we hide our own insecurities and doubts of our personal truths.

Common Sense

Thomas Paine first published his short, 48-page pamphlet "Common Sense" in 1776.  At that time is one of the most widely read and distributed pieces of literature throughout the American colonies.  From there, it helped fuel the fires of revolution, swaying readers to buy into the argument that those colonies should be free and independent from British rule, portraying a vivid picture of an American identity.

1852 witnessed the publication of Uncle Tom's Cabin by Harriet Beecher Stowe.  A best-selling abolitionist novel, the book eventually led President Abraham Lincoln to reference Stowe as "the little woman who wrote the book that started this great war" - the American Civil War.

In our present day, the fires of revolution are still stoked by the spread of the written word.  Egyptian revolutionaries successfully disposed of long-time president Hosni Mubarak in 2011, aided by significant use of social networking sites such as Twitter to coordinate efforts and disseminate information.

We currently live in a globally-interdependent society featuring the most available information, the fastest modes of communication, and the highest level of education in the history of the world.  The world population, thought by some to represent a higher number of living people than the total that have died throughout human history.  At 8 billion, there are more people living on Earth than ever before, and of these 8 billion, more people live in urban areas than ever before as well (up to roughly 50%).  All these modes of communication - cell phones, the internet, and person-to-person - have been used today to put more people in touch with others around the globe that it's difficult to imagine functioning without instant access.  We are able to access - at our fingertips - to have a conversation with someone on the opposite side of the PLANET.

I labelled this post "Common Sense" not only in reference to Thomas Paine's opus, but also because I find it frightening how people have grown to use this information and communication technology in such erroneous ways.  On a social networking site, I was scrolling through posts and came across one from a friend lamenting that a new couch wouldn't fit through their front door.  All I could think about was in what way was informing your hundreds of connections of this piece of trivia relevant or useful?  Take a moment to scroll through your social network of choice and count the number of trivial posts and updates.  I see these and wonder why.

In a world of unprecedented growth, revolution, change, and advances, how much are we taking for granted?  We've corrupted it into an incessant buzz of random thoughts in the heat of moment, void of value or thought, consumed, indeed, asked for on a minute to minute, hour to hour, day to day basis.  Snooki has almost 5 million followers on Twitter but I'm the one people gawk at when they learn I don't have cable or even a smart phone.  When did so much interaction become just noise?

Smart Phones

So I’ve decided on a New Year’s resolution.  It had been a long time coming, but I couldn’t quite figure out what I needed to work on.  I maintain that it’s not so much a problem to be fixed as much as a noble experiment on my part: I’m resolving to spend less time on my phone.  Now I realize that with QR codes, internet browsing, and all of my awesome apps, I can do just about everything with this minicomputer I keep in my pocket.  It truly is amazing how far technology has come.  Again, I can’t stress enough how much this ISN’T a problem – just a curiosity, a thought as to what life is like beyond the front of my screen.  And it’s not even something I think I HAVE to do – after all, I have the world’s information at my finger tips, I can look for and find anything I’m curious about.  Books?  Magazines?  Memory?  And how on earth do I read a map?  These are all things of the past.  I need not burden my finite intellectual capacity with useless information like the past presidents, the Bill of Rights, contemporary news stories, or eve who starred in that movie…I can just look it up!  I understand that at the dinner table – at home or away – people used to have to sit awkwardly, silently staring at one another until the unbearable tension was finally broken by the arrival of their food.  I acknowledge and respect the long ago traditions of conversation and “small talk”.  But it’s a different time now.  When we go out to eat, all my friends will be checking Facebook, and the topic of talk will be different statuses, who posted what, and hilarious video clips.  And where will my experiment leave me?  High and dry.  Ostracized.  Outcast from the group.  And yet I feel the desire to try it.  I want to see if I can return my mental abilities to intra-cranial ability.  But the more I think about it, the more I wonder why I’m subjecting myself to this?  How will I entertain myself when I’m around uninteresting people?  Without my game apps or my social networking activities, how will I delay boredom?  How will I avoid face-to-face, interpersonal human interaction?  What on earth will I do when we, collectively, cannot remember some trivial fact?  What, should we sit and struggle, wracking our brains?  And how do we make it through social situations?  How will I be able to ignore my fellow human beings?  What, am I expected to make eye-contact with people?  Talk about weird…

On the other hand, perhaps it’s safer for me to stay sheltered within my phone.  Perhaps it’s better I bury my nose in instant, to-the-second updates.  Perhaps I’m not ready to rejoin society.  

Then again, perhaps I don’t have a smart phone.  Perhaps I’m still living in 2002, when people actually had to talk to, acknowledge, and even, (*gasp!*) rely on fellow people in the very same room.  It’s been ten years.  A single decade.  Not even a generation.  Technology has progressed in leaps and bounds.  But when was the last time you wondered something, but rather than allow it to stir up a lively discussion, wherein people exercised the muscle called a “brain”, you or someone sitting next to you whips out the phone (or tablet!) and has the answer without a moment’s notice? 

If you're looking for further reading, here are a couple rather interesting posts and articles:

• The Google Effect: New evidence of the Internet’s impact on brain and memory recalls Plato’s ancient warning
• Google Effect: Changes to our Brains
• Study Shows Internet Alters Memory
• Google turning us into forgetful morons

Post Script: I do also realize such technology has allowed us to do more things, given us the ability to reach further, close the intercontinental gap, and increase collaboration.  Such technology has allowed more information, more knowledge, to more people.  And yet, such technology necessitates increased social responsibility, greater levels of technology education, and significantly greater digital citizenship.  In the words of Peter Parker’s Uncle Ben…